Resolution...or not?

    It's that time of year again. That awkward limbo between Christmas and New Years where everyone is thinking and talking about making a new years resolution. All I can think about is that in all the years I've been making resolutions, I've never once achieved what I set out to do.
    I don't know what it is about the term Resolution that seems so...unattainable. Maybe it's the finality I feel when I say it. Like I'll NEVER do something again... Honestly, my will power isn't that great. So this year, I'm doing something that I've had more success with.

     Instead a resolution I'm setting smaller, monthly goals and tracking them on the board in my office.

   The board is kind of self explanatory when you look at the over all weight goal, I mean, it takes up most of the board. But this year isn't just about getting my weight under control (now that my health is a little better). 2017 is going to a year dedicated to my whole person, an idea I got from my best friend. 

   The blue and white chart on the bottom left hand corner kicks January off with a 30 Day relationship challenge. This is designed to strengthen the relationship with my Hunka Hunka Burnin Love, cuz lets face it. 8 years has made us comfortable and complacent. Directly following this chart is a 30 Day munchkin activity chart. Everyday for 30 days, we'll do something big or small with the kiddos. With me going back to work after 5 years of stay at home parenthood, I want to make sure the kids feel balance. I have a ton of anxiety over how this transition will affect those relationships.

Finally, the Biggest and most amazing part of this journey will be the reward of spending my son's, my hubby's and my birthdays in WALT DISNEY WORLD! In case you didn't already know.....I'm OBSESSED!

Anyway, this board acts as a monthly tracker where as my amazing Erin Condren planner (there will be a future post) will act as my daily reminder. I believe that between these two tools and the support of the best Hubby in the world, I'll actually achieve my goals in 2017.

What are your resolutions or goals for 2017?

Getting Healthy Back

......I am unhealthy.

It would be easy to say that this is caused by the laundry list of health issues I have, in part...that may be true. But the reality is I have terrible diet and exercise habits. I never work out anymore. I eat to much junk food, stay up too late and drink way to much pop.

I'm not giving up my coffee.

So what now? Do I make some resolution I won't keep in 2017 about being healthier? Do I rush off the deep end and commit myself to some insane fitness program? Do I set goals at a slow and steady turtles pace? How do I fix the terrible things I've done to my body?

Honestly, I don't know. All I do know is that change has to happen....and soon.

What a Mess.....pt 2

Sunday night, I started to tell you about the mess my health has created. My Endometriosis has gotten ridiculous, it was taking over my life in the worst way. It scares me to see my fitness journal--the log of my pain days vs. good days--and to know on those pain days my children suffer the most. Because on those pain days....I just can't get down and play tea party or put on a puppet show or bake or whatever they want to do.

I wish that was the last of my major issues. Unfortunately what I thought was just just a hypothyroid disorder turned out to be Hashimoto's Disease.

Hashimoto's Disease: an autoimmune disease, a disorder in which the immune system turns against the body's own tissues. In people with Hashimoto's, the immune system attacks the thyroid. This can lead to hypothyroidism, a condition in which the thyroid does not make enough hormones for the body's needs.

Symptoms:

• weight gain
• fatigue
• paleness or puffiness of the face
• joint and muscle pain
• constipation
• inability to get warm
• difficulty getting pregnant
• hair loss or thinning, brittle hair
• irregular or heavy menstrual periods
• depression 
• slowed heart rate

 Honestly, this is still a REALLY new diagnosis. (Just a few days old) So, I'm still learning about it and what I need to do to get better.

So far, it looks like a MAJOR diet overhall. Apparently, to avoid thyroid inflammation (and a worsening of symptoms) I need to avoid: Gluten, Soy products, Nuts & Seeds, Beans, genetically modified foods, most oils artificial sugars and coffee.

Houston, we have a problem......Momma is a Starbucks addict.

For the first 8 weeks, while I detox my body and get used to this ridiculously strict diet, I will be using the "Against All Grain" cook books by Danielle Walker. I'm terrified of losing all the things I love to eat, but more importantly I'm afraid of how my body will rebel against me if I don't do something to appease my thyroid demons.

Wish me luck?

What a Mess....pt. 1

.....And sometimes that doesn't mean the cute "forgive the mess my children are making memories kind of way." Sometimes life is like a really yucky mud puddle....it's really big and you just can't get around it, you have to woman up and go straight through it. Only you have this humongous gash on the bottom of your foot and your sandals broke so you have to rub the nasty gritty dirty mud right into that big ole wound. Yep. That's been my life over the last 6 months.

I've always had health issues. Always. It's never been anything life threatening just sort of a snowball of uncomfortable and stupid health issues. Over the last 6 months, 2 of those issues in particular have become a HUGE pain in my behind.

1. Endometriosis: (en-doe-me-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus (endometrial implant). Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries or the tissue lining your pelvis.

**After my daughter was born in 2012, I was diagnosed with mild endometriosis. It was uncomfortable but manageable. In 2015 my endometriosis had grown to be "moderate: which required a surgery and some new medication. No biggy right? WRONG!! About 6 months ago (less than a year after surgery) my endometriosis was back AND with a shiny new "severe" classification. The pain is the worst I've felt in my life...think child birth sans drugs and the blessing of a child...I literally spend whole weeks where I am all but glued to my recliner and a heating pad. Which only makes the pain tolerable enough to sleep. No bueno, y'all.

So, after whining a bit about what it is and how much it sucks  to have Endo, I'm journaling (because I don't expect anyone to read this whine fest) about the solution....and my fears. My OBGYN has decided that we have run the course of the options that allow me to remain "fertile," which is relative anyway since Endo causes infertility without some SERIOUS help, so it's time (April 10) to medically induce menopause.

Wait, What?! Yep, you heard exactly right. At 27 years old, I will be going through menopause. Night sweats, hot flashes and all. And that's not even the best part! After 90 days....she will be removing my uterus and at least 1 ovary. By the fall.....I will literally and forever no longer be able to have children. If you know me.....you know how big of a deal that is. I keep trying to weigh the benefits against the emptiness I can already feel inside my pelvis....

PROS:                                                                           Cons:
No More Pain                                                     No More Children
No More Periods                                             
No More Painful intercourse
No More Pain Days

If I am unable to have more children, what is my worth in the natural order of things? Yet, can my children sustain a life where mommy has more pain days than good days?